I have a small family made up of the 4 of us. Myself, boyfriend and two kids. We didn’t really do big celebrations with other family members to begin with, due to me trying to break dysfunctional cycles and create a more healthy unit between us.
But this Easter is different. It’s one thing to have an option to see extended family or to invite them to Easter Sunday, but to have that choice taken from you or made for you makes it feel somewhat of a violation.
I always loved my extended family members but I needed to love them from a far. I needed to set boundaries for my own healing and parenting. I needed the option to say: “yes, I have enough energy and strength to see you, hear you, and be close to you today”.
Something about having to self isolate with your family and quarantine, puts things into perspective. There is a lot of emotional healing that needs to be done with in my family. But maybe constantly avoiding wasn’t the way to go. And this quarantine is making note of that.
I think this was an opportunity to better set my boundaries, a teaching opportunity for my children as to why we did not see certain family members or why would limit our interactions with them.
I feel like this is an opportunity to look at how I choose to move forward with my healing. I am looking at this as a perfect opportunity to choose how I interact with my extended family members. Look at how I can still see them but still have my boundaries for growth and healing.
This Easter is different. The pandemic makes things different. The fact that this virus is taking the lives of so many, is scary and it makes me think of my family members. If one of them got sick and died, would crush my soul.
I always thought I was doing the right thing by cutting family members out. the fact that there is a virus out there making that decision for me is scary. It’s life changing. I need to take control of this.
I wanted to heal from inter-generational trauma, I wanted to heal from the dysfunction, I wanted to be the creator of my story. I never said I never loved my family members, I never said I hated certain people, I never mentioned that I would never see them again. I needed time, I needed to be in control. And choosing not to see family was my was of being in control.
Connection is what we need as humans to survive. Family is what keeps us going. Maybe there is a way to bring my old life and mix it with me new?